¡Adios, America!

  ¡ADIOS, AMERICA!

  Copyright © 2015 by Ann Coulter

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  CONTENTS

  1The End of America Won’t Be Televised

  2Teddy: Why Not the Third World?

  3America to the Media: Whatever You Want, Just Don’t Call Us Racists

  4The Lie: There’s No Such Thing as America

  5Thirty Million Mexicans

  6Immigration as “Mystery Bargain Bin”

  7Immigrants and Crime: Why Do You Ask?

  8Why Can’t We Have Israel’s Policy on Immigration?

  SPOT THE IMMIGRANT! Case No. 1: Fresno, California

  9Public Warned to Be on Lookout for “Man”

  SPOT THE IMMIGRANT! Case No. 2: Homecoming Dance

  10Here’s a Story, Rolling Stone!

  SPOT THE IMMIGRANT! Case No. 3: Death Sentence Champions

  11Why Do Hispanic Valedictorians Make the News, but Child Rapists Don’t?

  12Keep America Beautiful Multicultural

  13Carlos Slim: The New York Times’ Sugar Daddy

  SPOT THE IMMIGRANT! Case No. 4: Indian Sex Slaves in Berkeley

  14Every Single Immigration Category Is a Fraud

  15Shut It Down

  16I Wrote This Chapter After Noticing How Stupid Rich People Are

  17Most of Our Champions Are Sellouts—Half of the Rest Are Incompetent

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  NOTES

  INDEX

  1

  THE END OF AMERICA WON’T BE TELEVISED

  THIS IS “GOODBYE,” AMERICA. ADIOS. PAALAM NA.

  No further warning will be issued.

  For forty years, the people have tried to tell politicians they want less immigration, but the politicians won’t listen. Every single elite group in America is aligned against the public—the media, ethnic activists, big campaign donors, Wall Street, multimillionaire farmers, and liberal “churches.” They all want mass immigration from the Third World to continue. Both political parties connive to grant illegal aliens citizenship and bring in millions more legally, and the media hide the evidence.

  Their game plan is: Never allow an honest debate on immigration. On every other important subject, both sides can be heard. The media are against pro-lifers, but it’s possible to hear the pro-life side—from churches, pro-life organizations, and the alternative press. The mainstream media neurotically push global warming, but, on the other side, we have the entire conservative media, MIT scientists, and even some lefties, like the late Alexander Cockburn of the Nation magazine. There was no difficulty getting both sides of the debate on the Iraq War, Obamacare, the shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, and any number of other hot-button issues.

  Only in the case of immigration is the public systematically lied to from every major news outlet. The media lie about everything, but immigration constitutes their finest hour of collective lying. They know their ideas on the topic are not popular.

  How immigration is changing our country is a lot more important than most of the “news” we hear about endlessly. The media will pound away at Chris Christie’s “Bridgegate,” apocryphal fraternity rapes, the Augusta National Golf Club’s membership policies, “white privilege,” four Americans killed in Syria, and the sexual preferences of various Olympic athletes. But getting the truth about immigration is nearly impossible.

  The media tell us, for example:

  Polls show the public overwhelmingly supports “comprehensive immigration reform.”

  No poll shows this. Only polls that lie about what “comprehensive immigration reform” is manage to produce majority support. These are polls about a bill that doesn’t exist.

  Immigrants are doing jobs Americans just won’t do.

  Americans are perfectly happy to do all manner of jobs—they just won’t do them for $7.00 an hour. Unions used to care about that, but now they just want political power. Greedy businessmen: What do you think the business climate will be like under a government run by AFSME?

  Amnesty will be fantastic for the economy.

  Unless we’re talking about the Mexican economy, this is patently ridiculous. Adding another 30 million poor, unskilled, non-taxpaying, welfare-receiving people to America is good only for government workers and employers who refuse to mechanize their operations or pay Americans one dollar more.

  Obama is the “Deporter in Chief”—he’s deported more than Bush!

  To the contrary, Obama is deporting far fewer illegal aliens than Bush—and that wasn’t a high bar. The Obama administration simply changed the definition of “deport” to include “illegal aliens turned away at the border.” It’s as if a school lowered the definition of “passing grade” from 70 to 40, then bragged about its high graduation rate.

  Hispanics will never vote for Republicans unless they pass amnesty.

  First of all, moron Republicans: If they can’t vote, they can’t vote against you. Voting machines don’t register angry glints in people’s eyes. Second, Hispanics who are citizens don’t care about amnesty! They’re already in. They vote 8–2 for the Democrats because they like big government. That’s why Obama’s Spanish-language ads during the 2012 campaign didn’t say word one about amnesty. Instead, he promised Hispanics free healthcare under Obamacare.

  “Comprehensive immigration reform” isn’t amnesty.

  And abortion isn’t “abortion,” it’s “choice”!

  The problems stemming from unchecked immigration are all over the news. You’ll just never be told they are problems of immigration—children living in poverty, childhood obesity, teen pregnancy, out-of-wedlock births,1 abysmal high school dropout rates,2 income inequality, “homegrown” terrorists, massive Medicare frauds, internet crime, identity theft, prison overcrowding, the vast number of uninsured used to justify Obamacare,3 sex trafficking, the epidemic of child rape, the destruction of our national parks, drunk driving casualties, drug-resistant tuberculosis, measles and other viral outbreaks, bankrupt government pensions, lower reading and math scores, and shorter “Americans.”

  Are these problems made better or worse by mass immigration from the Third World? The fact that Hispanics have the highest unmarried birthrate in the country—even higher than American blacks—accounts for a raft of social problems that are discussed ad infinitum by the media, but that will never be identified as the consequence of mass immigration.4

  A nation’s immigration policies are at least as important as, say, going to war. But the media have decided that who gets to live in America
is none of America’s business. The public can’t be trusted with the truth. Go back to the kids’ table. The grown-ups are deciding this. Anyone who challenges the elite consensus on immigration will be swarmed with blitzkrieg attacks. It can be difficult to discuss America’s immigration policies when it’s considered racist merely to say, “We liked America the way it was.”

  There’s no sense in arguing about any other political issue. If we lose immigration, we lose everything.

  THE ISSUE THAT WON’T GO AWAY: SHOULD DEMOCRATS BE GIVEN 30 MILLION NEW VOTERS?

  The media convince people to believe lies by the simple process of repetition: Diversity is a strength! We’re a nation of immigrants! It’s a crisis to have people living in the shadows! If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit! It’s like the hypnotic repetitions drilled into infants’ sleeping brains 150 times a night, three times a week, in Brave New World.

  By neurotic perseveration, mass-immigration proponents have completely moved the goalposts. After Reagan’s amnesty, no one talked about allowing new illegal aliens to stay. The only issue was: When are we going to get started on those promised employer sanctions and securing the southern border? Now we’re told we have to both allow new people in and amnesty the illegal immigrants already here. We’re getting the exact same arguments that were made for the old amnesty, but this time with attitude: Wait a minute—you’re not seriously telling me that you don’t want to give amnesty to the people already here? To which Republican politicians whimper: We hope we’re not inconveniencing you by not moving more quickly to forgive you for the laws you broke, illegal aliens.

  I don’t mean to be obtuse, but why is it a crisis that illegal aliens are “living in the shadows”? I forget. We need to bring in more people who will drive down the wages of our fellow Americans because—why again? It is not a crisis for Americans that other people have come into their country illegally and now find it uncomfortable to be living here breaking the law. It’s supposed to be uncomfortable to break the law. Perhaps illegal aliens should have considered that before coming.

  Americans are being asked to respond to the world’s oldest joke: A guy kills his parents, then throws himself on the court’s mercy as an orphan. How did all these illegal aliens get into “the shadows” in the first place? They weren’t kidnapped and dragged across the border. They came here. At most—and this is dubious—it’s a crisis for the illegal immigrants. But “living in the shadows” is evidently better than living in Guadalajara, otherwise, there’s an easy solution. Living in the shadows doesn’t seem to be much of a crisis even for them.

  Historically, Democrats have found it fun and profitable to bully Republicans into taking suicidal positions. This latest push for amnesty is approximately the Republicans’ fifth mugging. As with all disastrous legislation, Republicans are being told, “We have got to do this yesterday!” If we don’t produce a global warming bill, the American people will have our heads! If we don’t pass campaign finance reform tomorrow, the voters will punish us! You’re not seriously thinking of blocking a new gun control bill, are you? It always turns out, no, there’s no backlash. The only politician who was ever punished for his position on global warming was Al Gore. Debate any urgent liberal demand long enough, and the problem usually just goes away.

  It’s entirely possible that the only Hispanics enraged about amnesty are the ones we see on TV. In polls, a majority of Hispanics answer “Don’t know” to the question “Who is the most important Hispanic/Latino leader in the country today?”5 Self-appointed Latino spokesmen, claiming to speak for millions, apparently speak for about fifteen people. At least Al Sharpton has a posse of two hundred losers he can drag around with him. Most Hispanics seem completely unaware that they’re part of some angry movement led by Jorge Ramos. The notion of Hispanic unity—much less Hispanic-black unity—is pure liberal fantasy. Puerto Ricans and Dominicans hate one another, blacks and Mexicans hate one another, Haitians and African Americans hate one another, and everyone hates the Cubans.6 Republican elites apparently don’t talk to their servants: They’re convinced Cuban Marco Rubio will be catnip to Hispanic voters. Yes, remember how Manhattan women flocked to Sarah Palin just because she was a woman? GOP political consultants will never steer you wrong.

  The only place a failure to pass amnesty will produce genuine, heartfelt remorse is in the better sections of town, when wives of Wall Street bankers realize that Manuela the nanny will not be able to get taxpayer-subsidized healthcare.

  There is simply no reason for Republicans to legalize 30 million people who will vote 8–2 against them. They don’t have to be embarrassed about opposing immigration because of how the immigrants vote. The reason Democrats support immigration is because of how they vote. Al Gore didn’t mind challenging military ballots during the Florida 2000 recount. Obama challenged the petition signatures of every single Democrat running for an Illinois senate seat in 1996, disqualifying all of his opponents and “winning” by being the last man standing.7 Israel won’t allow Palestinians to return to homes they used to live in because of how they’d vote. Palestinians demand a right to return to their pre-1967 homes, but Israel says, quite correctly, that changing Israel’s ethnicity would change the idea of Israel.8 Well, changing America’s ethnicity changes the idea of America, too. Show me in a straight line why we can’t do what Israel does. Is Israel special? For some of us, America is special, too.

  Democrats aren’t big on amnestying other lawbreakers. They don’t hysterically demand amnesty for accounting cheats or polluters—not even for “the children” of accounting cheats and polluters. Enron executives were hard workers. They loved their families and wanted the best for them, just as I’m sure MS-13 gang members love their families. Think of how the executives’ children have suffered—the divorces, the broken families, the prison sentences. Why do we have to punish the children?9 How many breaks did liberals cut the Amirault family in Massachusetts after they were sent to prison in the child molestation hysteria of the 1980s, even after it was proved they were innocent? Martha Coakley fought like a banshee to keep Gerald Amirault in prison well after the charges were exposed as a fraud. Where was his amnesty? Democrats only care about the children of lawbreakers when it will get them 30 million new voters. Convicted felons are next.

  Republicans have no obligation to make a grand forgiving gesture toward lawbreakers, hoping that Hispanics will applaud their sportsmanship. This doesn’t require bravery. It requires that Republicans not be idiots. Democrats are just going to have to get 30 million new voters some other way.

  STEP ONE: SECURE THE BORDER;

  STEP TWO: REPEAT STEP ONE

  As Reagan’s amnesty proves, it’s pointless to talk about what to do with the illegal aliens already here until we’ve secured the border. When the bathtub is overflowing, the very first thing you do is: TURN OFF THE WATER. You don’t debate whether to use a rag or a mop to clean up the water, whether to get a bucket or put a hose out the window, whether to use towels or sponges. The No. 1 priority is: Shut off the water.

  Obviously, any amnesty functions as a magnet for more illegal aliens. Nothing shows the bad faith of amnesty advocates with more blinding clarity than their steadfast refusal to seal the border. Ordinary people see this and know they’re being lied to.

  The “border security” measures of every amnesty bill all employ the same meaningless Washington metric of success. In government, effectiveness is measured not by results, but by how much money is spent. How effective is it? Why, we’ve tripled the budget! That’s what Republican Senator Bob Corker of Tennessee actually said about Rubio’s “Gang of Eight” amnesty bill, formally titled “The Border Security, Economic Opportunity, and Immigration Modernization Act of 2013”—which was way better than its original title: “We Surrender.”

  “The fact is,” Corker exclaimed, “we are investing resources in securing our border that have never been invested before.”10 Why, he’s so serious about getting in shape, he’s taken out three gym
memberships! Increasing the pensions of border agents is not a measure of border effectiveness. We’re interested in results, not outlays. Even within the meaningless category of “Money Spent,” it can be spent in ways that are counterproductive. If the bill includes one dime for ACLU attorneys to process immigration claims, then part of the money we’re spending to make the border more secure is going to make it less secure. Rubio’s bill gave $150 million to nonprofits to help illegal aliens apply for amnesty.11

  Most Hispanics are smarter than Marco Rubio. In 2011, 73 percent of California Hispanics said they’d support a candidate who wanted to “secure the border first, stop illegal immigration, and then find a way to address the status of people already here illegally.”12 In a 2014 Univision poll, 58 percent chose “require border security first” over “pass immigration reform.”13

  PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GATED COMMUNITIES TELL US FENCES DON’T WORK

  Americans ought to be suspicious about being incessantly told fences “don’t work.” It’s like being told wheels don’t work. The media maniacally repeat this nonsense, hoping to lull people into thinking, Maybe it is impossible to control the borders. The New York Times explains, for example: “Would-be migrants still find ways over, under, through and around them.”14 Wheels still find ways to bend, break, or spring leaks. China built a thirteen-thousand-mile wall several centuries before Christ, and it’s still working.

  The Times gave the game away with this sentimental glop about border fences being “the approach favored by ancient empires: the raising of a wall.” The article continued: “The barrier wasn’t very likely to overturn the law of supply and demand, but it did serve as a useful symbol of the process of alienation, a closing-off of lives and minds, along the line it traces.”15 Yes, that’s precisely the idea! Aren’t fences peachy? Tellingly, the Times added: “Still, the tattered ideal of a world without borders holds great power.” For whom is a “world without borders” an ideal? People who don’t much care for America, I gather.